


you see it when you close your eyes, maybe one day you'll understand why

by Doitanyway (RaineyDay), RaineyDay



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Background Obi-Wan Kenobi/Satine Kryze - Freeform, But It's All Canon Stuff Anyway, But it's really just gonna be minor, F/M, Force Visions, Gen, Hurt Obi-Wan Kenobi, It might seem important in the first chapter, No Major Character Death or Graphic Violence Will Happen But Visions of Them Will, Visions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-13
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-01-30 10:50:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21427024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaineyDay/pseuds/Doitanyway, https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaineyDay/pseuds/RaineyDay
Summary: Visions are not meant for everyone. They are confusing and uncontrollable and often deeply sad. Most artifacts to induce visions have long been destroyed, but some have instead only been corrupted.When the Team comes into contact with one such corrupted artifact, they find themselves in for a terrible evening of trying to sort out the truth.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano
Comments: 36
Kudos: 287





	1. everything you touch surely dies

**Author's Note:**

> Hello friends! I have this almost complete. It will be two or three chapters (depending on how long the next bits end up becoming by the end of editing.) I plan for the next chapter to be up by this time next week, but I'm in college, so be a little forgiving if it isn't.
> 
> To any subscribers groaning at my starting a new WIP, don't fret. I'm doing a lot of work to revise some old writings, and will hopefully be getting a lot of work done on them before next update. It may be a while, but it'll be more cohesive and regular.

They had been here for three days before things went to shit.

The mission was, for once, more about cleanup than battle. They were assigned to assist refugees as a sort of non-leave leave. The Council couldn’t afford to pull them all the way back to Coruscant for very long, so they sent them on this mission to give them a break from constant fighting.

They had met the refugee population gathered on the last shred of hospitable land they’d had available, and now they were out to seek a new place for them to live.

Much of the rest of the planet was theoretically liveable, but inaccessible, surrounded by dense rock formations that were risky to traverse. At least, if you couldn’t use the Force. It would take a good amount of work, but the dangerous cliff faces that divided this landmass from the rest could be manipulated in such a way as to allow passage for anyone.

Previously, this effort was viewed as a waste of resources, because only Force sensitive people could do it in a cost effective way, and the land wasn’t really needed for anything, so why waste the resources bringing in expensive machinery or divert Jedi resources from more urgent threats? But now it might be the only hope for the survivors of the western landmass that had been devastated by the Separatists.

They had left the 212th and 501st back with the refugees, helping pack up supplies and recover the injured, while Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Ahsoka made their way to the outer wall.

They had been assigned to assess the amount of work that would be needed to make the area liveable and begin clearing the land, as much as they could during their assessment process. Later, other Jedi would come along to continue the work, should their presence at the front lines become too necessary.

The landmass had seemed odd since the beginning of their journey through it, but they hadn’t realized why until they got to the center. There stood a pedestal, surrounded by decorated arches and deliberate carvings.

There was a crystal of some sort, almost appearing to be growing out of the pedestal it rested on, with various bits and bobs around and on top of it.

“Whoa,” Ahsoka murmured when they entered the central chamber. “What is this place?”

“This must have been a sacred place for some culture that used to live here,” Obi-Wan replied, stroking his beard. “I wonder if it was one of the early Force cults.”

“What makes you think that?” Anakin asked, the sarcasm clear in his voice. “The intraversible cliffs or the fact that whatever that crystal is, it’s strong enough to blind someone?”  
Obi-Wan shot him a look and took a cautious step forward.

“Don’t touch it!” Anakin exclaimed.

“I’m not going to touch it,” Obi-Wan explained. “I just want to get a look at these markings. Maybe we can use the Force to move it to a safe place before the refugees arrive.”

“Be careful, Obi-Wan. This place feels… dark,” Anakin muttered, looking around warily.

“Really?” Ahsoka asked. “I don’t feel it.”

“Neither do I. If anything, I thought this area felt lighter than the battlefield we left did,” Obi-Wan said, suspicion taking root in his voice. He leaned down, examining the carvings intently.

"Fine, maybe it's just weird. I still don't like it." Anakin heard a soft noise behind them and spun around to face the source. He saw nothing, but he pulled out his lightsaber and gestured for Ahsoka to be alert. He began walking carefully forward, trying to find a good vantage point to watch for any movement.

Then three things happened almost at once. A voice screamed something at him, which startled a flock of native birds. Anakin spun to face the person who’d spoken, only to find himself the target of the birds’ fright. He didn’t even have a moment to prepare himself when the flock slammed into him, knocking him backwards, and toppling him toward the pedestal.

-

Obi-Wan was examining the markings, but he was paying attention to Anakin’s signals also. As Anakin stepped past him, Obi-Wan looked into the shadows around the edge of the cavern, when he heard someone scream and jolted upwards to a standing position.

He was already moving to Anakin’s side when suddenly Anakin was knocked backwards by some native creature. He was going to land on the crystal, and Obi-Wan didn’t know enough about the item to feel at all comfortable with that idea.

Obi-Wan stepped behind Anakin, intending to catch his weight, but he miscalculated, and found himself pushed on top of the crystal instead.

The last thing he was aware of before losing consciousness was the feeling of something squirming its way into the edge of his consciousness.

-

Anakin grabbed Obi-Wan the moment his legs started to give out and pulled him close to his chest.

“What did that thing do to him?” He shouted in the direction the scream had come from. An older woman made her way from the edge of the shadows toward the two of them.

“I don’t know,” She said mournfully, reaching out as if to touch Obi-Wan. Anakin yanked him back away from her. “I didn’t want this. I had meant to warn you. It is not my fault the fliers were startled in the way they were.”

Anakin gestured for Ahsoka to step forward, and she scampered to his side, letting some of Obi-Wan’s weight rest on her.

“What do you mean you don’t know?” Ahsoka asked, torn between anger and fear for her grandmaster.

“This crystal has had many different uses throughout the eras. Initially, it was just a source of knowledge, but as time went on, it began to induce visions of potential futures in those who touched it,” The woman spoke softly.

“Well, that’s not so bad, is it?” Anakin asked. If it was just visions… sure, his own experience with visions wasn’t particularly positive, but the visions themselves didn’t do anything to him.

“No, that wasn’t a problem. The problem came when the seers became so obsessed with what they had seen that they gave up everything else. Remember, these visions were only potential futures. But the seers tried so hard to prevent or ensure the futures they saw, they ended up destroying themselves.”

The woman stepped back staring upwards at the cliff faces surrounding them.

“The society that lived here collapsed in on itself, and the seers, now Fallen, turned the device into a weapon. They corrupted the crystal so that all it would show was torment. Anyone they exposed to their device would see painful potentials only, repeating over and over, as a means of torture. My clan fought back, tried to seal this area, to cure the land and ensure no one was hurt again.”

“You failed,” Anakin growled. The woman glanced down, nodding.

“I did. My family had gone to help the refugees of this world, our neighbors. We have not been entirely separate from them all this time. We did not realize anyone could or would come to this place that wasn’t of our clan, and thought it safe enough to leave only me here.”

“Can you make it stop?” Ahsoka pleaded. “I mean, the Darksiders who did this must have had a way to take people out of the visions. Torture, well. It’s only effective if they can still answer you afterwards.”

“He will come out of it on his own, and there are ways I may be able to hurry the process along. Come. I will take you somewhere I can treat him.”

Anakin didn’t want to trust the woman, but nothing she said seemed to be deceitful, and he couldn’t just let Obi-Wan be tortured indefinitely. He picked him up and followed the old woman into the shadows.

-

Ahsoka watched as her master settled Master Obi-Wan onto a cot in what looked to be where these people kept their medical supplies. She stepped closer as the woman began looking through shelves and counters for something to help.

“What’s your name?” Ahsoka asked, finally.

“Bela,” The old woman replied. “Good to meet you, though I wish it hadn’t happened like this.” She stepped back to the cot once her supplies were gathered.

“Before I begin treatment, I should tell you what to expect. He will wake up shortly, but will not know where he truly is. He may or may not be aware of our presences, but he will still be deep inside the vision. His mind will justify why you are with him, even if you may not have been in the vision. This is good. Let it happen.”

“Shouldn’t we tell him the truth when he’s awake?” Anakin asked. “I don’t want any part of prolonging his pain.”

“No. He will not be in the same state of mind that he usually is, and explanations will only confuse him. They could even damage his mind and spirit, allowing the poison to sink in further. Playing along may be difficult, but it is the fastest way to break the trance.”

“Okay. We can handle that,” Ahsoka said. She didn’t like it, but if it would help Master Obi-Wan get better, she’d do it. After a moment, Anakin nodded as well, looking as conflicted as she was.

“This will help,” Bela said, handing them a few small bottles of various medicines Ahsoka couldn’t name, but she knew she’d seen them before. “He will likely not understand why he needs medication, but if you can convince him to drink some of it, it can help. The visions might even help in this case, because if he trusts you, his mind will convince him it is just a glass of whatever he would drink regularly.”

“Is there anything else? We have a bond, can I do anything through that?” Anakin asked.

“Maybe. You might be able to ease some of the damage internally, though it is equally likely that you won’t and will simply be witness to whatever he’s seeing. It is worth a try,” Bela said.

Obi-Wan sighed slightly, beginning to stir. Anakin stepped to his side immediately.

“I will take my leave, if it is all the same to you. I will look in our library to see if there is any more I can do,” Bela began to move toward the door.

“Wait! Can’t you help us keep an eye on him? See if anything is going wrong?” Ahsoka asked.

“I am not medically trained. I don’t think I would do much good here. Besides, even if I can’t find any more information, at least he will have one less witness to his pain. I can’t imagine he would appreciate it once he’s well.”

-

Obi-Wan sat up slowly. He was uninjured, but Vokara Che was not appreciative of anyone trying to rush their way out of her Halls.

He was only even here for the mandatory post-mission check-up, not that this mission had been official, per se. He supposed he was fortunate the other Council members were treating it as if it was, instead of outright reprimanding him. At the moment though, he didn’t quite care.

He couldn’t get the images out of his head. Over and over, Satine’s face, pleading for his help, then suddenly switching to her being impaled and dying in his arms.

He found himself in his quarters without much thought as to how he’d gotten there. He cursed internally as he saw Anakin and Ahsoka waiting for him. Technically, they both had rooms elsewhere, but they had easy access to his rooms since they were there so often anyway.

The moment his eyes met theirs, he realized that they looked concerned. They must have heard the news somewhere.

Anakin stepped toward him, and Obi-Wan felt his presence in his head for a brief moment before he piled his shields higher. He couldn’t have this discussion right now. He hadn’t even had a moment to himself since he’d arrived back on Coruscant. From the look on Anakin’s face, he had still noticed something anyway.

“Obi-Wan what happened? Is Duchess Satine…”

Obi-Wan opened his mouth to reply, desperately wishing he’d had a moment to prepare himself, to accept the truth before needing to talk about it. It was always so much worse to say these kinds of things out loud than just to know them.

He’d planned to say something about the situation to appease their concern long enough to let him alone so he could calm himself enough to speak further later on, but to his horror, his lack of preparation meant that he only made a small hiccuping sound instead.

He didn’t even have time to curse himself for letting Anakin and Ahsoka see him falter so badly before he started sobbing.


	2. grieving is not a failure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, amazing! I actually updated on time! I'm so happy! Also definitely at least 3 chapters now, whoops? Maybe even more, we'll see! *shrug emoji*

The shock Anakin felt at seeing his former master break down in front of him didn’t stop him from hurrying to Obi-Wan’s side, which was fortunate, as it ensured that he was there to grab him as his legs gave out.

Anakin pulled Obi-Wan close to him, murmuring nonsense in an attempt at being comforting, but his mind was still reeling. He looked behind him and exchanged a glance with Ahsoka, noting that she seemed to be just as terrified and unsure as he was.

The thing was, Anakin had long imagined being closer to Obi-Wan emotionally, and being able to connect with him and console him, but he hadn’t wanted this. It wasn’t until now that he realized what he’d actually wanted.

He’d wanted to be closer to Obi-Wan in the manner of a confidant, not a voyeur.

Because that was what this moment felt like. Instead of the satisfaction he’d imagined would come with being able to comfort Obi-Wan, Anakin just felt sad.

The key part in all his previous hopes had been, even if he hadn’t realized it, that Obi-Wan had autonomy to do as he wanted, and that he’d chosen to confide in Anakin.

This moment, of Obi-Wan being so broken that he simply couldn’t hold himself together didn’t have that, and it made Anakin almost feel wrong to be witnessing it.

Hearing his master, his brother, sob miserably into his arms only broke Anakin’s heart.

Finally, Anakin felt Obi-Wan start to fight his grasp, leaning back and taking shuddering breaths. He wiped frantically at his face and turned his head to the side.

“I- apologize. I had not intended to-”

“Master Obi-Wan, you don’t need to apologize for being upset,” Ahsoka interjected, taking a few hesitant steps forward.

“No, but I had intended to do so in private. You two don’t need to see-”

“It’s okay to be upset, Master,” Anakin interrupted. “It’s not healthy to bottle everything up.”

“No, of course it isn’t. But that doesn’t mean you two need to deal with this,” Obi-Wan said, voice harsher than usual. He was tensed up and refused to look at them.

“We just want to help! We care about you, Master,” Ahsoka, earnest, stepped into his line of sight.

“That is not your responsibility. I shouldn’t-” Obi-Wan was cut off when Anakin huffed a laugh at his words.

“Of course. Wouldn’t want to be anything but the perfect Jedi. Untouchable and indifferent even to family!” Whoops. Anakin hadn’t meant to call them a family there, but maybe it wouldn’t be noticed.

“Anakin, that is not-”

“Not what? Not true? Because from here, it just looks like you can’t bear to admit weakness, even in front of us, not that grief is a weakness, but I know you-”

“Anakin. I have already proven myself enough of a failure today. I don’t need to add to that by failing you two as well.” Obi-Wan’s voice had gone stiff and distant, and Anakin’s anger faltered.

“What do you mean?” It was Ahsoka who asked, and Anakin was thankful, unsure if he’d have gotten an answer if he’d been the one to say it.

“Satine- she is dead because of me. I don’t know how Maul even realized that I- cared for her, but I must have tipped him off somehow. He had no interest in the rest of Mandalore, no reason to attack except to hurt me! I failed when I gave Maul some hint of the truth, and I failed when I tried to get Satine to safety and I failed even more when I let myself keep being in- keep caring for her all these years!” Obi-Wan turned away from them anger, breathing harshly. Anakin could see him attempt to relax his limbs only to tense up again moment later, shoulders pulling inward around his face. 

“Obi-Wan, it’s not your fault if that bastard can’t get over a grudge. What he does is not on you.” Anakin’s anger had deflated. How could he be mad at Obi-Wan when he was so clearly distraught?

“That doesn’t change the fact that without me, she would still be alive. It may not be my fault, but it is certainly my mistakes that led to this. So I would appreciate if I could handle this on my own, rather than further fail by placing the responsibility for my emotional health on two people with enough struggles of their own, particularly given that Ahsoka is still a child, and shouldn’t have to deal with any of this!”

“Master Obi-Wan… You’re not a burden,” Ahsoka spoke, quietly at first but gaining steam. “It’s not a struggle for me to help someone I love when they’re hurt. It’s actually way more of a struggle to think that you wouldn’t tell us if something bad was happening, because then I’ll never know if I should be worrying or not.”

“Ahsoka, it shouldn’t be on you to worry about me at all,” Obi-Wan said, just sounding tired now.

“That’s not really something you can do anything about. I’d worry about you even if there wasn’t a war. That’s kind of what families do,” Ahsoka said, darting a quick glance at Anakin. He reached out, placing a hand on her shoulder and reaching for Obi-Wan with the other.

“C’mon, Master. Let me make you some tea, and we can go watch a movie or something. Hell, you can just file reports if you want, but you don’t have to be alone right now. Please?”

“You’re terrible at making a decent cup of tea,” Obi-Wan said, still not moving, and Anakin’s heart sank. “Let Ahsoka make it, if one of you is going too.”

Anakin laughed. He wrapped an arm around Obi-Wan’s shoulder, ignored the way he melted into it much more than usual, and led him back to the cot, figuring the trance would to the work for him of convincing Obi-Wan they were actually doing something real.

After Anakin and Ahsoka had cajoled Obi-Wan into drinking a decent amount of the medicine Bela provided, Obi-Wan slipped into slumber.

-

Anakin went searching for Bela after Obi-Wan fell asleep. He could tell Ahsoka didn’t want to leave him, and anyway, Anakin needed some time to himself to think.

He stalked through the rock corridors, caught up thinking about what he’d seen. When Obi-Wan had first stood up from the cot, he hadn’t seemed to notice Anakin and Ahsoka there, and it was frankly terrifying to watch him walk around them with no recognition in his eyes.

At some point, the trance must have decided it made sense for them to show up, because Obi-Wan had met their eyes then, and Anakin suddenly remembered that Bela had said he might be able to use their bond to fix things. Reaching into Obi-Wan’s mind had only brought dark, upsetting images to his though.

Anakin was used to seeing some pretty gruesome things, after years of being a slave and now years of being in a war. Even in peacetime, he’d seen some pretty nightmarish stuff. So the wound didn’t affect him much, but knowing that the victim was a woman Obi-Wan deeply cared for had.

Even still, Anakin hadn’t expected that reaction. He’d never seen Obi-Wan like that before. He’d seen him sad and even a little angry, but not that kind of out of control despair that he’d shown here. He supposed, with sinking concern, that maybe Obi-Wan had always hidden it before, trying not to ‘burden’ Anakin and now Ahsoka with the things that upset him until he’d composed himself.

Anakin was so lost in thought, he almost didn’t notice Bela until he almost tripped over her.

“He’s sleeping now,” he said.

“Good. You will have time to prepare for his next waking,” Bela said. “Did he drink some of the medicine?”

“Yes he did- his next waking?” Anakin asked.

“Yes. Whenever the next vision strong enough to shatter his unconsciousness begins.”

“It’s not over yet?” Anakin said.

“No. I told you that the visions repeatedly assault the victim’s mind. Even with medicine and luck, it will likely be hours before he comes back to himself fully.”

“I need to get back to Ahsoka.” Anakin started running before he’d even finished his sentence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you didn't think it would be that easy did you? ;)


	3. dreams come slow, and they go so fast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm a bit late on this chapter, but hey, working on a culminating project proposal takes time, and I was focused on my Star Wars Rare Pair swap story when it came to fandom time. Also, still within a few days of my goal, so hey, better than I've done in the past! Also, this story is turning into a monster, because what I thought could be done in like two or three chapters is something I'm now hoping I might be able to finish by five or six at the earliest, so, yeah. The plot is still the same, I just severely overestimated how briefly this story could be told.

Ahsoka was watching Master Obi-Wan closely. For all that Bela had seemed unconcerned, she was worried about the possibility of something going wrong with his recovery when they were so far away from any medics.

  
Or maybe that was just an easier thing to focus on than the emotional breakdown he’d had so shortly before.

When she’d first met Master Obi-Wan, he’d been intimidating. In some ways, he had intimidated her even more than Master Anakin had, because at least Anakin was someone she could understand. Sure, he’d been sarcastic and kind of rude and he was so well known in the Temple in ways both good and bad, but at least she’d felt mostly comfortable sassing back at him. Master Obi-Wan though, was on the Council; one of the younger members of his species to earn that honor. He was calm and controlled and she could never imagine him giving her a sarcastic nickname because he was frustrated with her presence.

Now she knew much of that attitude to be a facade, a mask he would put on in front of the Jedi Order at large because of his position, but it wasn’t all fake. And while she’d seen him behaving somewhat emotionally before in her time with him, she’d never even thought she’d ever see something like this, and thought anything even close to this would take years and years for him to be willing to let her see.

She felt bad to have seen it before he had been able to reach that point of willingness.

She was torn from her thoughts by the sight of his eyelids flickering slightly. She hurried to his side as he sat up.

“Master Obi-Wan?” She asked.

“Ahsoka?” As soon as he saw her, he looked around hurriedly. “What are you doing here?”

Ahsoka’s heart sank. He was still in the trance.

“Master-”

“You have to hide Ahsoka, it isn’t safe here.” He took off his cloak and wrapped it protectively around Ahsoka. “Come, come here.”

Ahsoka played along, reluctantly, following Master Obi-Wan to the edge of the room.

“Hide in my quarters. I’ll do my best to slow any efforts to search for you,” Master Obi-Wan said, still looking around rapidly, nervously.

“Your quarters?” Ahsoka questioned. What was this vision showing him? The thought occurred to her that he might be seeing an attack on the Temple and her blood ran cold. If there was someone attacking her home, she wanted to help defend it. “Why can’t I-"

“You can’t hide in your or Anakin’s rooms; that would be the first place they’ll look if they find out you’re in this area. Of course, they will look in mine eventually also, but I don’t know who else we can trust not to say something, and the search for you will make it difficult to sneak you out of the Temple right now.”

Wait. What? The search for her? Why would people be looking for her specifically? And why wouldn’t they be able to trust the others in the Temple?

“Now, Ahsoka, tell me what happened. Anakin said he was going to find evidence to prove your innocence. Why did you escape custody? Was- was he unable to find it?”

“Master Obi-Wan, I didn’t do anything!” Ahsoka insisted, but her blood was ice in her veins. What was happening in this vision he was having? Why would she need to proven innocent of anything?

“I know. That’s not what I meant. I trust you; I hope you don’t think otherwise. I tried to speak to the rest of the Council about the fact that you would never do this, you wouldn’t harm someone like that for revenge, but I was deemed too close to the matter to be fully objective, as was Master Koon,” Master Obi-Wan looked genuinely concerned that she might think he betrayed her, so Ahsoka spoke quickly.

“No, I don’t think that.”

“Good. I’m sure the Council will call me as soon as the news that you’ve escaped reaches them, but I can stay here until then. I’d rather not leave you alone at the moment. Maybe we’ll get lucky and Anakin can find something before you need to flee,” Master Obi-Wan chucked bitterly, and Ahsoka was shocked at how downtrodden he seemed.

“Master, I- I’m going to make some tea, if that’s alright,” Ahsoka couldn’t talk to him about this, not when she didn’t even really know what was happening. She needed this over with.

She was grateful for the fact that Obi-Wan fell back asleep almost as soon as he sat down after drinking the medicine, even if that did mean she had to catch his slumping body and lower it fully onto the cot he’d been sitting on.

Just as she’d managed to lay him down, she felt and heard her master arrive back in the room behind her.

“Ahsoka! He’s going to keep waking up. It’s not over yet,” Anakin blurted quickly.

“Yeah, I know,” Ahsoka turned to her master, and Anakin was surprised to see the tears welling in her eyes. He stepped forward and opened his arms, and she ran into them.

Anakin shushed her gently until she stopped crying long enough to speak to him.

“Skyguy? Bela said these visions are only _possible_ futures right?”

“Yeah, that’s what she said.” Anakin wasn’t so sure about that, not after his own experiences, but he wasn’t going to say that when Ahsoka was so rattled by this.

“Good,” Ahsoka responded, still clinging to him. “Master? You know I wouldn’t hurt somebody for revenge, right?”

“Yes? Ahsoka, what did Obi-Wan see?” Anakin asked.

“I don’t know, really. But he thought I’d escaped from custody. Thought you were looking for evidence to prove my innocence. I wouldn’t do something like that!”

“Hey, shh, I know. I’m sure you didn’t do anything like that, you must have been framed. And, like you said, it’s only a possible future, so you don’t have to worry about it. Even if there _was_ a future where you might do that, you can just make sure not to in the real future.”

Ahsoka sighed in relief. That was what she’d been saying to herself, but it helped immensely to hear her Master say it.

-

The next few hours passed that same way, an exhausting ordeal of Obi-Wan waking from his visions and screaming or crying or speaking almost unnaturally calmly about terrible things.

Most of the time he was unresponsive to their efforts to get through to them, but there’d been at least a moment in most wakings where they’d been able to get some of the medicine into him, though Anakin couldn’t see that it was doing any good, given that he’d shown no improvement in all the hours they been here.

The past waking had been one where they hadn’t been able to get through to him, and been made to just listen as he begged Cody to explain something to him, though what that thing was Anakin couldn’t figure out, aside from the fact that it gave Obi-Wan a deep sense of betrayal and confusion.

Ahsoka was sitting on the edge of the cot, yawning widely, and Anakin walked over to her and set a hand on her shoulder. He was just about to suggest she find somewhere to sleep for a few hours when Obi-Wan’s eyes popped open with a gasp.

Anakin met his eyes, prepared for him to not recognize him, so he was surprised when Obi-Wan looked into his eyes immediately. He was less surprised when Obi-Wan’s expression became tormented and desolate. That was nothing new for this evening.

The surprise did, however, return when Obi-Wan looked at Ahsoka and his gaze became steely before he stepped between her and Anakin and gently pushed her away.

“Run Ahsoka. I’ll handle this.”

“Master Obi-Wan?”

“Go! He’s not Anakin, not anymore,” Obi-Wan shouted, looking like he was getting ready for a fight.

“Obi-Wan what are you talking about?” Anakin couldn’t play along, not with something like this. He didn’t know what was going on, but he wasn’t prepared to fight his Master, particularly not when he didn’t even know why it was happening.

“It doesn’t become you to play dumb, Darth,” Obi-Wan spoke, voice like acid, and he drew his lightsaber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DUN DUN DUUUUUN. Of course we'd arrive here eventually, so you really can't call this /too/ much of a cliffhanger, right? ;)


	4. only know you love when you let go

Anakin’s immediate reaction was denial. This couldn’t be real. There was no way Anakin had fallen in the future Obi-Wan was seeing!

He tried to breathe deeply. These were only _potential_ futures, as Bela had said.

“Obi-Wan, stop!” Anakin shouted. “Can we just talk about this?”

At least Obi-Wan wasn’t outright attacking him- not yet anyway.

“Talk? What do you think we could possibly have to talk about, Vader?”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Anakin said. They were both exhausted and neither of them would escape a fight unscathed right now.

Anakin wasn’t sure if he was only imagining Obi-Wan’s voice saying _you already have._

He hoped was only imagining it.

“I’d like to believe that. I really would. But the boy I knew would never have wanted to hurt Padme either, and we saw how that went.”

Anakin’s blood ran cold. What had this version of future him _done_?

“Master Obi-Wan?” Ahsoka interjected. Obi-Wan turned from Anakin, slowly, to face Ahsoka.

“Ahsoka, leave. I don’t want anything to happen to you,” Obi-Wan said, pleading. Anakin wanted to be offended that Obi-Wan would ever hurt Ahsoka, but if this future version of him had really hurt _Padme_ then he supposed Obi-Wan really didn’t have any way to know who else he would hurt.

“Master Anakin wouldn’t hurt me,” Ahsoka said.

“Like the clones would never betray us? Like Anakin would never hurt Padme? Like the Republic would never _vote_ to become an Empire? There are so many things that have happened I would never have expected, can’t you at least just humor me on this? If I’m wrong, what harm would it do for you to run? And if I’m right… Ahsoka, please. I can’t lose you too.”

Anakin could hardly breathe. What had Obi-Wan seen?

Ahsoka seemed just as breathless as Anakin was, but her reaction was not to stand back away from him, but to dart forward and hug him. Anakin saw Obi-Wan startle a bit, before he deactivated his lightsaber, closed his eyes and pulled her close, murmuring too quietly for him to hear. When Ahsoka looked back up, there were tears in her eyes. Obi-Wan leaned down, pressing a quick kiss to the top of her head, which clearly surprised her. It surprised Anakin too. Obi-Wan had never been very physically affectionate.

It killed Anakin, that after such a sweet display with Ahsoka, Obi-Wan turned to him with clear suspicion and fear written on his face. Ahsoka met Anakin’s eyes, clearly trying to get a message across, but Anakin wasn’t sure what it was. After a minute of fruitless effort, Ahsoka shook her head and sighed.

Anakin saw Obi-Wan start to circle around him, preparing for a fight. 

“I don’t know what what done to heal you, Darth, but it must have been dark. After- after everything on Mustafar, medical intervention wouldn’t have been enough. Whose life force was stolen to heal you? Do you even know?”

Anakin very pointedly moved his hands away from his lightsaber, trying not to think about anything Obi-Wan was saying.

“Master, please,” Anakin began, taking note of the way Obi-Wan flinched when he called him ‘master.’ “Obi-Wan, think about this. This isn’t real.”

It was a risk to try this, Anakin knew, because of what Bela had told them earlier, but he didn’t see that he had any other choice. If they got into a real fight right now, one of them would almost certainly be injured.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Obi-Wan. I’ve never heard the name ‘Vader’ before,” Anakin continued.

Obi-Wan just shook his head, looking conflicted. Anakin hoped he could feel his sincere confusion through the Force, that maybe it would make a difference.

“No- I was there. I saw it. The- recordings, those could have been fake, I suppose, but I saw you strangle Padme. I saw you try- to kill me,” Obi-Wan was slowing his movements, furrowing his brow. Anakin heard Ahsoka gasp at the words he’d said, and he was having trouble not doing the same.

“Obi-Wan, do I feel Dark?” Anakin asked, bluntly, opening his shields wider than he had in a long time to show Obi-Wan the truth.

It took an uncomfortably long amount of time, but eventually, Obi-Wan shook his head in response.

“No, you don’t.”

“And does anything you think you’re seeing make sense without that?”

“No, it-” Obi-Wan cut himself off with a groan, and Anakin cursed. What had Bela said earlier? The poison would sink deeper?

Anakin wrapped his Force signature around Obi-Wan trying to infuse his mind with healing, hoping it would do some good. He felt Ahsoka join him in his efforts, and loosened his mind a bit to sink into Obi-Wan’s, seeking the source of the visions. This needed to _end. Now._

Anakin found a small ball of writhing Darkness trying to push itself into Obi-Wan’s mind. He visualized a snake, how the poison needed to be drained before the wound would be healed. Anakin imagined himself getting a grip on one end of the Dark infestation, and he _yanked._

-

Anakin opened his eyes to see Ahsoka above him, looking down worriedly.

“Snips? What happened?”

“You were doing something in Master Obi-Wan’s mind, and then you both collapsed. Is he okay?”

Anakin sat up, and moved to where Obi-Wan was lying a few feet away from him. He leaned over him, shaking his shoulder gently.

Obi-Wan groaned and opened his eyes, meeting Anakin’s own. Anakin didn't realize how frightened he was that Obi-Wan wouldn’t be any better until Obi-Wan sighed in relief at the sight of him.

“Anakin, how long has it been?”

“Since what, Master?”

“Since- the artifact. It did something to my mind. I remember it, now, vaguely. It feels like its been- but that wouldn’t make sense. We haven’t been here more than a day or two, have we?”

“It hasn’t even been a day, Master Obi-Wan,” Ahsoka said. “I don’t think anyone has even noticed that we should have been back already.”

“Well then. Perhaps we ought to be headed back before any of the men send out a search party.”

Obi-Wan walked ahead of them out of the room, and Ahsoka came over to Anakin, worry clear in her gaze.

“Skyguy? Shouldn’t we make sure he’s okay?”

“No. I think we’ve invade his privacy enough for today. Don’t push him on this. Just- keep an eye on him as we head back to the men.”

Ahsoka nodded, eyes determined, and Anakin knew that she hadn’t dropped the subject, but that she was willing to avoid it for now.

As they headed out, Ahsoka found Bela and thanked her, quietly, for her help. Anakin just nodded at her. He didn’t think she’d hindered them _on purpose_ but he was irritated that it had taken so long to find a solution to their problem.

When they were out of the cave system, Obi-Wan got a message on his comm.

“Right on time, Commander,” he greeted. “We were just on our way back.”

Cody must have said something in response, because Obi-Wan chuckled, lightly, though Anakin knew it was forced, before he spoke again.

“Nothing we couldn’t handle, Cody. We’ll be back before sunrise, at the latest. Kenobi out,” Obi-Wan turned back to Anakin and Ahsoka, gesturing for them to follow him. “I think this route will be slightly faster than the way we came in.”

Once Anakin and Ahsoka had fallen in line behind him, Obi-Wan said nothing more until they made it back to camp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WEll that took longer than anticipated! Finals kicked my ass, y'all. But ya girl got a 3.0 for the semester so yay!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well. sorry to keep you waiting, but oh well. The last chapter is still... a mess and may potentially spawn off other chapters if I feel like it, so I don't want to commit that I will get that one up in a week bc I got stuff to work though with it, BUT I am promising to try very hard to get it ready to be posted next Tuesday

It was difficult to think. He wasn’t sure if it was a physical symptom of the artifact or just a more vague horror at what he’d seen. Either way, it was making it hard to keep his reactions to himself.

Now that he was out of the trance, what he’d seen seemed more like a dream than memory, but it replayed endlessly in his head nonetheless.

Anakin had told him what the woman at the caves had said about the artifact, but he was struggling to accept that any of what he’d witnessed could ever be true. It was made more difficult by the fact that he had no idea if everything he’d seen was meant to be _one_ possible future, or if they had been multiple diverging futures. Some of the visions would seem to lead into each other easily, but others were less clear.

He didn’t know what to do. He remembered when, in his apprenticeship, his Master had seen a few visions. Qui-Gon hadn’t talked to him much about it at the time, but he knew from later conversations that he’d eventually decided that the visions were never meant to be averted. His interpretation had been that visions were only sent to someone to remind them that they were _not_ in control, not to lend them the power to change what was meant to happen.

But this was a much different situation than the one he and his Master had been in on Pijal. For one thing, on Pijal, there had been just one vision, with only slight variations each time it was repeated. What Obi-Wan had seen was much different and much more expansive.

Another difference was the fact that the visions had come from a corrupted artifact, not strictly the same as if they had come from the Force itself. The Dark twisted nature and the universe, and derailed how things were supposed to work. Obi-Wan was not meant to have seen these things.

And now he was winding himself around in circles in his mind. How should he respond as the Force wills to something that the Force never willed him to know about?

He startled slightly, when a hand landed on his shoulder.

“Cody,” he greeted, glancing to the side at his Commander.

“General, is everything alright?”

“Of course, Cody. I’m fine,” Obi-Wan lied.

Cody’s doubt was evident just from his posture.

“Will you let me walk with you to your tent?” He asked.

Obi-Wan nodded, too tired to argue against something so harmless. There was no reason not to walk with Cody, other than the visions still ringing in his mind, and it would make his Commander feel better. It would probably make Obi-Wan himself feel better if he was being honest.

He let Cody hover his arm around his back as they walked, not truly touching, but ready to offer any needed support. They walked in silence, letting the sounds of camp wash over them. Obi-Wan was glad to see the men relaxing a bit, chatting amongst themselves and playing games. They deserved to have some stress relief.

They walked past a group of clones playing a card game, and Obi-Wan didn’t mean to flinch when one of them raised his arms in victory, but the suddenness of the movement provoked a flinch anyway.

Cody definitely noticed, but he did nothing more than raise an eyebrow. Obi-Wan was too tired to thank him.

It didn’t take much longer for them to reach his tent, and when they entered, Obi-Wan sighed softly in relief. It was always a relief to be far away from the center of attention, and though he was happy being around his men, there was always a degree of that attention when he was in the midst of them. And with all that he had been through today, he needed some privacy to meditate and simply make sense of his own mind.

He saw Cody frown at him slightly, and wondered what exactly he ought to tell him.

“General…” Cody began, and Obi-Wan waved a hand vaguely in his direction, attempting to tell him to drop the formality. He seemed to understand, as he always did, because he continued in a softer tone, “are you okay? Really? Is there anything you need to talk about?”

Obi-Wan sighed heavily and waved a hand dismissively.

“I am fine, Cody. But your concern is appreciated,” he said. Cody’s shoulders slumped almost imperceptibly at the usual response, but he nodded and turned to leave anyway. Obi-Wan felt a stab of regret. He really shouldn’t just dismiss Cody’s concerns like that. It was no way to treat a friend, no matter how much he really preferred his privacy.

“Wait,” Obi-Wan called out. “No, Cody, you’re right. Something disturbing happened while I was out with Anakin and Ahsoka, and I am not okay. I really am not in a place where I can discuss it right now; I need to take some time for myself to think it through, but if it’s still open tomorrow, I would like to take you up on that offer to talk.”

“Thank you, General. That’s good to hear. When you don’t talk about things, it worries all of us,” Cody said, and the truth of his relief could be seen in the way his body relaxed slightly.

“I don’t wish to worry any of you. I just…” Obi-Wan trailed off, uncertain what to say.

“You’re a private person, which is understandable. Just sometimes, you’re too private,” Cody began to turn and head for the exit of the tent. “And don’t worry. That offer is _always_ going to be open. Have a good night.”

“Goodnight, Cody.”

Obi-Wan took off his boots and laid down, though he strongly suspected that he wouldn’t sleep much tonight. Not only was there a lot on his mind, but he didn’t feel particularly physically tired either.

He ended up replaying the visions in his head for what felt like hours, before eventually giving up on sleep as a lost cause. He sat down with a datapad, feeling a need to write down everything he had seen and learned, though he doubted he would be forgetting any of that anytime soon.

Multiple times during the writing, he stood up and paced his tent, unable to keep going. He’d never been so restless in his life, but all that he had seen had become a heavy weight in his mind, demanding that he do something to fix it. He was having a hard time reminding himself that there was nothing he could get done in the middle of the night anyway.

He managed to get a couple hours of restless sleep before the sun rose. He pulled himself out of bed and got dressed in clean robes before heading out.

The camp was refreshingly calm. Obi-Wan could sense how many men were still sleeping, and was glad to see that many of them were taking this opportunity to get some well-deserved rest, as this mission had been designed for. They would still need to work hard to help the refugees, but it was good for them to get a chance to sleep in and relax a bit when they could.

Obi-Wan found Anakin grabbing breakfast and signaled to him to wait for him. He felt a hum of agreement along his bond with the other, along with a not-insignificant amount of concern.

“Good morning, Obi-Wan,” Anakin greeted him, as they moved to find a place to sit and eat. “How are you doing?”

Obi-Wan opened his mouth, but closed it again when he realized he didn’t know what he should say. He didn’t want to burden Anakin with this. He never did. But he couldn’t seem to forget the aching loss of realizing that Anakin didn’t trust him anymore, even though it had never happened.

“Not well,” Obi-Wan said, before he could lose his nerve. The dim surprise that leaked through Anakin’s shields prompted him to continue. “Would you meditate with me sometime this morning?” At Anakin’s hesitation, he added, “Moving meditation. I know you prefer it, and I feel a bit restless myself today.” It had been a long time since he’d felt so disturbed that he _needed_ moving meditation, but he did right now. And more than that, he needed _Anakin_ right now.

“Sure, Master. Just let me leave a note for Ahsoka, so she’ll know where we are when she wakes.”

Obi-Wan made sure to push some of his relief and affection down their bond. In response, he got a jolt of surprised pleasure. He reveled in it. He felt a bit ashamed at his neediness, at how he was practically clinging to Anakin’s mind, but he wasn’t likely to stop anytime soon, not when he could still remember how it felt to have that mind and everything with it ripped away from him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends! Sorry for the lateness of this chapter, but when I finished it, the whole email maintenance thing was going on, and I didn't want to risk it being missed, especially since this is the last chapter!

He hated that there was a part of him that couldn't trust Anakin anymore, but he couldn't forget watching Vader strangle Padme nearly to death, before attacking him with intent to kill. He couldn't forget Anakin's voice saying that he hated him.

The worst thing was the uncertainty. He had experienced so much that had really never happened, and it left him on unstable footing. He didn't _want_ to fear Anakin, but if he did nothing, would he bring about the future where Vader existed? All that he had seen had the potential to come true, but so did many other things. How could he determine what was most likely to happen? Nothing he had seen was guaranteed to happen as he'd seen it, if at all. Perhaps if he started focusing more of his attention on helping Anakin to prevent his potential fall, they would end up neglecting to watch over Ahsoka properly, and she would be falsely accused of a crime, as he'd seen happen.

There was no way to know what terrible events occurred as a result of each other, and which were unconnected terrible futures. Which meant that his best bet was to try to figure out what the common thread was in these events- what kinds of things would have already been put into motion to cause these tragedies.

As he meditated, he let his mind drift back to what he had seen, relying on Anakin's steady presence to pull himself back out if he went too deep and lost himself. It gave him a chance to look at the visions with a fresh eye, untainted by the urgency of needing to act _now_ that had been present when he believed the visions to be truly happening. He was able to remember details he'd blocked out or refused to focus on the first time. He noticed the distinct patterns on the armor of the men who'd held Satine captive, recalled the evidence laid out against Ahsoka, paid attention to what the med droids said about Padme's condition.

Finally, he sank into the most painful memories, of Anakin's fall and the betrayal of the clones. These visions were more easily tied together, because so much had gone wrong all at once, but the picture they created was the worst of everything that he'd seen. And then, he remembered a certain detail he'd let himself forget before, blocked out by the more immediate visceral horror of everything else.

He sunk to his knees, breaking his meditative state, and buried his head in his hands.

"Master!" Anakin hurried toward him, worry clear in his voice. Obi-Wan felt him gently pull his hands away from his face, and he looked up to meet Anakin's frightened eyes.

"What's wrong, Obi-Wan?"

"Everything," Obi-Wan croaked, because he saw the common thread now, and it was worse than he could have imagined. "It's Chancellor Palpatine. He's the reason it all went wrong."

At his words, Anakin's eyes shuttered, and he drew back from Obi-Wan, scowling. Of course he would. He wouldn't want to think anything bad of the man who'd mentored him and been kind to him since he was a child. Never mind that Obi-Wan had done the same for him. The reminder of how deeply Palpatine had entrenched himself in Anakin's life, all under Obi-Wan's nose, made him want to be sick. He must have been manipulating him since he was a _child._

"Obi-Wan, I think you're probably confused," Anakin said slowly. "Maybe in _one_ future, the Chancellor might do some bad stuff," and even that statement held clear doubt, as though Anakin were only humoring him, "but the woman said the device was a _Darksider torture technique._ It's probably just messing with your head."

It was all too much. He was still so very exhausted from all the horrors he'd been forced to bear witness to, and he hated to see how much Anakin already trusted him less than he trusted the Chancellor. And besides, he'd already failed many times in the past few days at his long held goal to avoid breaking down in front of his student. Once more wouldn't make any difference.

He curled in on himself, and pressed his hands back to his face to wipe away the sudden onslaught of tears, suddenly certain that the worst of the things he'd seen were the ones most likely to come true.

-

Anakin could kick himself. That had been such a stupid thing to say. Even if he didn't really believe that Palpatine could be to blame for much of what Obi-Wan had seen, he shouldn't have jumped to defending him when Obi-Wan was already looking so fragile. Arguing with him in this state wouldn't do any good. He obviously wasn't being rational right now. He'd surely realize how ridiculous his accusations were later, when he was closer to his usual state of mind.

"Obi-Wan, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that," Anakin began, uncertain what to do to bring Obi-Wan out of the state he was in. He was hesitant to touch him, because he still wasn't used to being allowed to _see_ Obi-Wan when he was upset, let alone comfort him. But his words didn't seem to be getting through to him, so Anakin took a chance and wrapped his arms around Obi-Wan, pulling him close.

Obi-Wan shuddered at the embrace, but his mind reached for Anakin's desperately and he didn't pull away, so neither did Anakin. He had never been very good with his words, so he didn't bother to speak, and just hummed and shushed soothingly. He pushed apology down their bond, before following it with warmth and affection. It had been a long time since he'd been so open with Obi-Wan about how much he cared for him, but it was all he had to offer right now. Besides, Obi-Wan was clearly too out of it right now to scold Anakin for being overly caring.

When Obi-Wan had calmed somewhat, but before he could pull back and apologize like he always did whenever he dared to let on that he had feelings, Anakin stood, picking him up as he went. Obi-Wan startled at the movement and at being lifted into Anakin's arms.

"Anakin! What are you doing?" He asked, flustered and squirming, though he wasn't fighting hard enough to free himself. Anakin knew that he was able to hold Obi-Wan tightly enough for his Master to be unable to get free without hurting him in the process, and took full advantage of the knowledge that Obi-Wan would never hurt him over something this unimportant.

"Taking you somewhere," Anakin said, starting to walk.

"Where? And why are you carrying me? I am capable of walking, you know," Obi-Wan said, rather grumpily, but he stopped fighting so hard, seeming to accept that Anakin wasn't giving up and deeming it better to just go along with it and get it over with.

"Yeah but you're stubborn, and this is the best way to be sure that you'll actually go. And I think it's funny," Anakin responding, deciding to leave out that it was also the best way to keep Obi-Wan close enough to touch, and that he hadn't wanted to see the way that Obi-Wan always looked so alone whenever he pulled back from physical comfort. The first time he'd seen Obi-Wan look like that may have only been yesterday, but he already knew that he never wanted to see it again.

Obi-Wan grumbled something back to him, but his body was relaxed in Anakin's grip, and that was all that mattered.

-

Anakin hadn't wanted to call the Council about what had happened, but he knew that Obi-Wan wouldn't willingly admit how badly he'd been affected by what he'd been through, and he needed to. Really, what he needed was _real_ leave, because this mission may have lower stakes than the ones they usually had, but Anakin knew that they were both still waiting for something to go wrong. The incident with the device had been bad enough, but there was still every chance that the Separatists could come back, or the refugees could start fighting amongst themselves, or the damage to their planet could result in an unexpected natural disaster, and so they were still all on edge. And Obi-Wan could handle a lot, but Anakin thought he might just have hit his limit. And even if he could keep going, he shouldn't have to.

Anakin managed to get a message through to Master Yoda and Master Windu, and explained as much as he felt comfortable saying over comms.

"I know that we were sent here because you couldn't afford to give us actual leave, but things have changed. Obi-Wan is... really having trouble with what happened, and I don't think he should be trying to complete _any_ mission right now, both for his own sake and the sake of the mission."

Master Yoda and Master Windu exchanged looks with each other.

"Agree, we do, Knight Skywalker. Stubborn, Obi-Wan is, and very private, his thoughts. If this upset, you have seen him, trouble he must be having," Yoda said.

"We still cannot afford to call all of your men back with you, but perhaps yourself and Master Kenobi can take a smaller ship back before you rendezvous with them for your next mission, and we can ensure that both the 212th and 501st can work together under your command until Obi-Wan is able to resume command. Commander Cody, Captain Rex, and perhaps Padawan Tano, if you feel she can handle it, can be in command until you return," Master Windu said.

"You want me to return with him?" Anakin asked. He didn't want to question a chance to return to Coruscant and see Padme, even if it was sure to be brief, but he was unwilling to leave his men behind, unless necessary.

"Your men are capable, and there should be no significant danger until your next campaign begins, and you shouldn't need to be absent from that for more than a day at most if you leave Coruscant quickly. And if Obi-Wan is doing so badly... I don't like the idea of leaving him alone, even just for the time it would take to make it back here," Windu admitted.

"Thank you, Masters," Anakin bowed his head slightly. It was a relief to know that he could accompany Obi-Wan back to Coruscant as he had wanted to without leaving other people in danger doing so.

"If that's all, Knight Skywalker, you're dismissed. Give our regards to Obi-Wan," Master Windu finished.

"I will," Anakin said. For all that he had his issues with Master Windu, he knew that he and Obi-Wan got along. Anakin had been trying to remind himself that they would take good care of Obi-Wan at the Temple, and that he'd be safe, even if Anakin couldn't be there to watch him himself. It was easier to do that in moments like this, where he was allowed to see some of the concern that others held for his Master as well.

-

The silence on the ship was awkward. Obi-Wan had protested when Anakin told him that the Council was calling him back from the front, and the assurance that Anakin would make sure to watch out for the 212th hadn't particularly helped. Anakin could understand that. For all that he trusted Obi-Wan, it was hard to leave his own men under the protection of anyone else, so he knew where Obi-Wan's worries lay. It was hard to know that people you cared about were off fighting on their own somewhere, without you, no matter how much you believed in their abilities.

He hadn't protested quite as much as he usually did though, in the end, which told Anakin that this had been the right move. Obi-Wan was stubborn and reluctant to accept help, but he was rational enough to accept it eventually, when he really needed it. He may not like this, but he understood why he had to do it.

But now that they were past that argument and had exhausted all the usual conversation avenues about supplies and plans for their return, their talk had fallen quiet. And it wasn't a comfortable sort of quiet. Anakin hadn't said anything to Obi-Wan about the events that had started this disaster, because he hadn't wanted to make him upset again. But his mind kept itching with reminders about all the awful stuff that Obi-Wan had mentioned, and he couldn't seem to stop catastrophizing about everything Obi-Wan had said. He was well on his way to full-out sulk when Obi-Wan's voice interrupted him.

"I apologize for what I said about Chancellor Palpatine," he began, stiff and awkward, but it was something.

"You weren't in your right mind. I knew you would realize how ridiculous that was eventually," Anakin said. He was trying to figure out how to apologize for his rude reaction when Obi-Wan continued.

"No, I'm not apologizing for my accusation. I still believe what I saw about him. But I should have considered how you would take it. I know that you care about him."

Anakin scowled, suddenly glad that he hadn't managed to put his own apology together yet.

"Oh, so this isn't a real apology then," he said. "It's a chance for you to blame me for being angry. What you just said wasn't an apology, it was you telling me that it was my fault for getting upset in the first place!"

Obi-Wan flinched, but he didn't look on the verge of falling apart like he had before, so Anakin didn't care about stopping the argument.

"That's not what I meant- Anakin, I'm sorry if that's how it seemed, but-"

"You do realize that you're still doing it, right?" Anakin demanded. "You're sorry 'if that's how it seemed?' That's what it _was_, Master."

"Well. Then I'm just sorry," Obi-Wan said. Anakin waited for him to say more, but nothing came. He tried to find something to keep the conversation going. He didn't want to go back to the awkward silence from before. And, if he was honest with himself, (this is a hypothetical, he was rarely honest with himself, and he usually tried not to be) he _wanted_ the argument to continue.

"Why are you so convinced that he's awful anyway? What did you see that was so convincing?" Anakin asked, before snidely continuing. "Not that you need much convincing to think badly of him. You've never liked him or me being around him."

"No, Anakin, I never have liked him. For all that he's done, and all the time that's passed, I'm afraid I've never quite managed to get past how uncomfortable it made me to know that there was a politician decades older than the _child_ my Padawan was that was nevertheless intent on spending time alone with him. Perhaps that's petty of me, but I doubt you'd be able to get past it if Ahsoka had a 'friend' like that."

Anakin wanted to be angry at the implications there- Palpatine had never done anything to make him feel unsafe around him- but thinking about someone behaving like that with Ahsoka made his blood boil, and he could maybe understand why Obi-Wan might have felt weird about it, and why he might have let an irrational grudge stick with him. It didn't make his more recent comments about Palpatine okay in Anakin's eyes, but he could maybe understand his perspective a bit more after that.

"If you were so worried about him, why did you let me go with him at all?" Anakin asked.

"Because though it seemed odd, no Jedi could sense any malice in Palpatine, and you never seemed uncomfortable with him, and I'd have needed a lot more than 'I don't like it' to justify denying the leader of the Republic of his seemingly harmless request," Obi-Wan said. And yeah, okay, Anakin could admit that Palpatine's status as the Chancellor _did_ probably make it weirder.

"I didn't realize that it made you feel that way," Anakin said.

"You were a child. And I was convinced that I was being irrational anyway, so I never brought it up. I didn't want to make you upset over nothing, and given how little experience I had with raising a child, it started to feel ungrateful to try and deny the chance to someone who wanted to help," Obi-Wan scoffed. "I was a fool."

"Okay, fine, I can understand why you don't really like him, I guess, but why are you so sure he's going to do... whatever awful thing you saw him do in a _possible_ future?" Anakin asked.

"Will you let me actually explain, or are you going to storm off if I say something you don't like?" Obi-Wan asked, warily.

"I'll listen. I can't promise I'll believe you, but I guess it's true that _anyone_ has the potential to do awful things, right?" Anakin offered. He didn't believe him, not really, but he didn't want to argue anymore either, not when he realized that this was mostly just Obi-Wan's weird way of protecting him. He didn't need protection from Palpatine, but it was nice that Obi-Wan wanted to give it.

"Right," Obi-Wan murmured, and his eyes went very distant for a long time before Anakin reached over and touched his shoulder gently to bring him back. Obi-Wan blinked and looked up at him, offering a weak smile. "Thank you, Anakin." Anakin didn't ask what the thanks was for.

"It's fine, Obi-Wan. This has been a lot. Take your time. Not like we don't have plenty left before we get home," Anakin said, though he really didn't want to wait for an explanation.

"When I woke from the trance, fully woke, the visions felt rather vague and distant. They were memories of things that had never happened, and my mind struggled to process them. I was aware of broad strokes of the visions, but the details required some focus. I spent a while trying to understand them, but I was getting overwhelmed wondering about the implications of these sights as potential futures. If I avoided one, would my efforts only bring on another?"

Anakin nodded, understanding well enough and hoping to avoid Obi-Wan going down a spiraling tangent of theories and philosophy, as he was prone to doing if unchecked.

"I decided that the best thing to do was to look for problems or elements of them that have already begun- things that couldn't possibly have enough time to come together between now the moment in my memories when they occurred."

"Okay, I'm still with you," Anakin agreed. He could sympathize with how overwhelming that must have been. It had been awful enough when he'd had his visions of his mother, without also having to wonder if saving her would have meant sacrificing Obi-Wan or something.

"What I saw of Palpatine in my visions was one of those things," Obi-Wan said, cautiously. Anakin told himself to keep still and let Obi-Wan finish his explanation. He'd told him that he would, and Obi-Wan deserved to have his concerns heard out at least, even if Anakin did intend to dismiss them. "The plans he had made could not have come together in just a matter of months."

"How do you know that?" Anakin asked. "Maybe _you_ couldn't do it in that time period, but are you sure it would be impossible for _anyone_?"

"The plans hinged on events that would have needed to be put into motion years ago," Obi-Wan said, hesitating before adding. "One of which involves the clones. At the latest, it could have been started when they were children, but more likely, it would have begun before they were even decanted."

"Obi-Wan, just tell me what the problem is!" Anakin huffed. "You're dancing around it so much that I'm not getting anything."

"It's going to be difficult for you to hear, and it will be difficult for me to talk about as well. You said that we have time, and I would ask you to please give me a moment to get my words together," Obi-Wan said, getting a bit huffy himself by the end of it.

Anakin stood, impatient, but knowing that rushing Obi-Wan wasn't likely to get him anywhere.

"The Sith have some way to force the men to do as they command, regardless of their free will. I don't know what it is, but I know that it exists, because I saw it in my visions. There was a moment where I felt their minds go blank and then they tried to kill me," Obi-Wan said, voice shaking. Anakin didn't dare interrupt, even if he could have thought of anything to say. "The reason I assume that whatever it was must have been done when they children or earlier is because it wasn't only my men that experienced this. The entire GAR, in one moment, were altered somehow, and they murdered any Jedi they could find."

"Obi-Wan..." Anakin said, shaken by the words his friend was saying. "I'm so sorry."

They paused for a moment, Anakin to think over what Obi-Wan had said and Obi-Wan trying to pull himself back to the present.

"Master? I understand why you think that is something that's already been started- and we're gonna have to figure that out soon so it can't happen for real- but I don't understand what that has to do with the Chancellor," Anakin said, carefully. Obi-Wan turned his head to face Anakin, and his expression was blank in a way that disturbed Anakin. It wasn't his usual calm mask, which was irritating but familiar, but something different, something almost broken.

"He's the one who gave the command," Obi-Wan said, and his voice was just as lifeless as the look on his face.

Anakin's first reaction was to dismiss what Obi-Wan was saying entirely, because there was no way that the Chancellor- his _friend_ and mentor- would do something like that. But the resignation and distant horror that Obi-Wan was showing was enough to make Anakin pause. He wasn't convinced- not by a long shot- but for the first time, he started to consider that maybe Obi-Wan was right about the Chancellor. Because Obi-Wan wouldn't lie to him about something this important, and if there really was a threat to his men and to the Jedi, then Anakin needed to consider it. If everything Obi-Wan had said was accurate, then, at the very least _someone_ would have had to be plotting this for years, and they were capable of convincing the Chancellor of the Republic to work with them, assuming it wasn't Palpatine's plan from the beginning. Anakin hated the thought of even this slight betrayal in thinking Palpatine capable of something like that, but his men and the other Jedi deserved for him to consider the possibility. If Anakin decided it wasn't true, in the end, Palpatine wouldn't ever need to know that he'd doubted him anyway.

"Obi-Wan," Anakin said, grabbing Obi-Wan's hands and looking into his eyes. "Tell me everything."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this has already gone so much longer than I'd originally planned it to be that I don't think it needs to be dragged out any more, but I wanted to get to an ending that felt organic and I think this is it. From here, obviously, Obi-Wan will manage to convince Anakin of the truth, they will be more willing to communicate with each other because they've realized how important it is for both of them, and eventual happy ending with dead Palpatine and the war over and happy, communicative boys!
> 
> Thank you all for reading!


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